Life really sucks for us. To start off, we produce this magazine, which is pretty low. And, like you, we show friends pictures of half-naked girls from our show reports, claiming to have known them when, in actuality, we just dreamt of them so many times that fantasy has transformed itself into reality. Yeah, you know what we're talking about, don't lie.
We first saw this NSX way back in November sitting atop convention center carpet in the Pioneer Electronics booth at the SEMA show in Las Vegas. It was a sight for sore eyes, to say the least, considering the large number of vehicular Steve Buscemis in the show. Naturally, we jumped on the opportunity to photograph the car right after the show was over. After all, who would deny an NSX with a carbon-fiber/Nomex honeycomb widebody conversion? Certainly not us. But then again, we work here, so there's not a whole lot that we're particular about.
This is also one of the many magazines you picked up from the newsstand that features an item that reaffirms the fact that our lives do indeed suck. Take, for example, your Hustler. You're never, ever going to hit that girl on the cover, much less meet a girl. Your latest Time? We're sure, of course, you'll discover a cure for AIDS. The May issue of Maxim? Yeah right, you'll never become a writer for that publication. Uh, wait, that's for our sorry lives. Back to the point. Super Street, a magazine that's notorious for giving you automotive blue balls, has definitely contributed to this month's denial of hopes and dreams, featuring one of the most coveted vehicles in history, a widebody '92 Acura NSX with a Willy Wonka Chocolate Factory-load of goodies sure to make you turn the shower knob to cold, or hump a leg, whichever you prefer.
Thankfully, ScienceofSpeed, a tuning company that specializes in Acura NSXs and Honda S2000s (but definitely not grammar, as evidenced by its one-word moniker), and Chris K. Willson, its general manager, are extremely particular about cars. They are, in fact, the owners of this magic on wheels and have been using it strictly for research and development. It took six months to get the car to where it is now. A short time? Yes. Unbelievable? Certainly. Does your life suck even more now that you know this? Of course.
But don't jump off the building just yet; there's more to learn about this car. Like how Chris and company shelled out $100K for the NSX's completion. Now, we're not good at math or anything, but we know offhand that a normal guy probably can't write a check to purchase an NSX, and we can assume that a normal guy can't write a check to buy $100K worth of parts. Trust us, our checks to the local Super Autobacs bounced like Anna Nicole Smith on a bumpy bus ride.
Obviously, Chris isn't your normal guy, and $100K is mere chump change to him. But it's not like he owns this NSX and, say, a Honda S2000, right? OK, maybe he does, and apparently his NSX won "Best Japanese Import" at SEMA during Sony Entertainment's Gran Turismo 4 release contest, which gave the NSX the honor of being considered for the Gran Turismo 4 game. Add that to number 3 on your list of things you'll never experience. Now would be a good time to jump off the building.
And you thought our stories were poorly written and overindulgent. Boy, were you wrong, because you've definitely learned something from this article. Not only did you find out more about this NSX, but you also realized how much God really hates the rest of us. Being the devoted sadomasochists that we are, let's find out more about this vehicle to re-establish our indisputable reign as Losers Numero Uno.
Remember how we said that the car has a carbon-fiber/Nomex honeycomb widebody kit? Well, there's more to that. According to Chris, this widebody conversion doesn't use the regular, run-of-the-mill widebody technique where the panels are wrapped with carbon fiber on top of heavy fiberglass. Instead, Cantrell Studios, makers of the kit, designed it after the ARTA NSX from the JGTC racing series, using carbon fiber and Nomex honeycomb as the sole building materials, helping shed 35 pounds from stock, which already boasts a lightweight body. To top that off, Cantrell Studios also converted the front end to reflect a JDM '02 Acura NSX-R, using its headlights and ducted hood. Ouch! What money can do nowadays.
To throw salt on our wounds, Chris has given us some advice on how to survive in this industry. "With the early models of the Acura NSX becoming very affordable (you can find a decent early model for the MSRP of a fully loaded '04 Accord), the NSX is the best kept high-performance sports car secret. Keep focused on your goals for success in life, and the NSX can be a very attainable reward for your hard work." Double ouch! Rub it in, Chris, just rub it in. Oh, by the way, this NSX also has Pioneer's latest DVD/navigation/everything-you-can-dream-of-in-a-head-unit entertainment unit. Look elsewhere in this issue for more information. Trust us, you'll definitely defenestrate after you hear about Pioneer's new system.
And the NSX's engine, you ask? Well, should you, really? We guess you're a bigger masochist than we thought. This ScienceofSpeed Acura still holds onto the factory 3.0L V-6 powerplant with a sleeved and bored block, increasing the engine to 3.3L, with custom forged pistons. The intake valves, driven by custom stage 2 camshafts, were also enlarged. And if you look closely at the engine picture, you'll see an individual throttle body system. Now that's as uncommon as us finally getting an NSX and kissing a girl. "By our calculations, the engine and induction package should be good for about 320-340 wheel horsepower, which is about 100 hp above factory output," Chris says, "Your readers will be able to follow-up with the results on our Web site (www.ScienceofSpeed.com)."
Overall, it's not so bad that other people in this world get to have all the fun. It's not like we're really down on our luck. You did shell out five bucks for this magazine (which saves our jobs) and you know how to read, so be happy for yourself and Chris. It's cool if God hates you, but it's not cool for you to hate others. I think that's, like, the 12th commandment, right?